Working with women can be a tricky business

After the 2009 Filipina Leadership Summit in Berkeley, Lilia V. Villanueva (U.S. FWN100™ '07) reflected on her tenure as a member of the 2009 U.S. FWN100™ Selection Committee.

(Top Image: Lilia Villanueva at her family's ancestral home in Bacolod. Photo Credit: The Bacolod Food Hunters)

Working with women can be a tricky business. I know a lot of women who openly declare that they prefer working with or for male rather than female bosses. I never shared this sentiment; I’ve had my fair share of tyrannical female bosses who needed to be so in order to keep their position in the power pecking order of corporations or non-profits.

I felt sympathy for these women—they’ve worked doubly hard to get where they wanted to be, only to be hated by their fellow womenkind. Women, who, if possible, stay away from other women in the workplace, do so for reasons such as: women gossip, they get jealous easily, they’re stricter as bosses and won’t give any slack, they’re bitchy and moody.

In 2009, I’d like to think that we, who grew into adulthood during the nascent period of the women’s liberation movement in the U. S., have gone past the traditional reasons for avoiding working with women. As past president of Asian Women United of California for several years, I’ve had many opportunities to work exclusively with women in non-profit organizations and projects, and have yet to synthesize why I feel blessed for having belonged to a very strong and good cabal of sisterhood.

In the last couple of years, I’ve had the privilege of joining the Filipina Women’s Network, and served on the Selection Committee for the 2009 100 Most Influential Filipinas in the U. S. There are a dozen committee members, and many of us have not met or seen each other for a couple of years since the 2007 Summit in Washington, D.C. 

When FWN President Marily Mondejar asked me to join the Selection Committee, I agreed to serve because I know that giving back to organizations that work on and for my behalf deserve my time of day and more. Lucky for me, the majority of the Committee members are more techno-savvy than I, and therefore, efficient and organized.

FWN board members have taken to heart lessons learned from the previous Summit, and our Committee, headed by Shirley Raguindin and Ellen Abellera, functioned as smoothly as one would expect, given that members lived on several states on both coasts. The weekly teleconference meetings were prompt, efficient and ended on time! Amazing. And we weren’t all business either. Friendly banter was tolerated and relaxed everyone who, for the most part, only knew each other through voices.

Being on the Committee provided me with an opportunity to ‘meet’ other talented and wonderful women—the nominees, which each committee member was assigned to interview. I spoke with ten Filipinas I’ve never met or known of before, discussed their careers and aspirations, and always came away feeling good about being part of them—fellow Pinays, living in this country. It was a good feeling, and I benefited from feeling the closeness, even for just a few minutes. With some, we promised to visit each other when they’re in my city (New York), or I in theirs.

Yes, a kinship born from working with an organization that fosters networking and supporting each other because we, as Filipinas in the U. S., do have a voice and can exercise it if we want to.

Thank you, fellow Selection Committee members and Marily, for the privilege of working with you!

Lilia V. Villanueva (U.S. FWN100™ '07)
Art & Interiors Gallery Owner – TAMA Gallery
New York City
2009

More about Lilia V. Villanueva (U.S. FWN100™ '07)

Co-founder of TAMA Gallery in New York City This is part of a series of video stories of the 100 most influential Filipina women in the U.S. selected by the Filipina Women's Network.

Janet C. Mendoza Stickmon Reflects on the 2013 Filipina Leadership Global Summit

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Receiving her Global FWN100™ Award as Innovator & Thought Leader, Janet C. Mendoza Stickmon (second from right) is joined by (from left) FWN President Susie Quesada, Vangie Buell (US FWN100 '07), FWN Founder & CEO Marily Mondejar and FWN Chair Elena Mangahas. The Global FWN100 Awards™ Gala was held on October 26, 2013 during the 10th Filipina Leadership Summit in San Francisco California.

The following was sent to Marily Mondejar and the FWN Board and is shared with the author's permission.

I know we didn't have much time to talk during the FWN Summit, but I just want to tell you how much I was completely transformed by all the events that weekend.  From the shuttle rides, to the workshops, to the meals and ultimately the Gala, I felt a strong bond with Filipinas around the world like never before.  

I found myself reflecting constantly about my mother (originally from Cebu) and all that she sacrificed for me. She passed away when I was 15 and seemed to have sent me a new Mom … a mom of my adulthood—Mama/Auntie Vangie, who has opened me up to an even larger network of strong, proud, intelligent Filipinas. I am so proud to be recognized by this organization as one of these strong & influential Filipinas. What an honor!

By how professional and well-organized (and detailed) the summit was and how elegant the Gala was, I became convinced that it is truly the communities we represent and the communities we serve who can recognize our accomplishments in a way that is most meaningful to us. We may not always get the recognition, the accolades, or the respect we deserve from the institutions we work for.  

Janet singing with her daughter.

Long ago, I made the decision never to sacrifice my health or compromise my identity for any institution. This had resulted from having devoted 7.5 years of my life to a Catholic high school, having an enormous influence on hundreds of students' lives, only to have my heart broken by the institution several times by racism, neglect, and scandal.

For my 7.5 years of service (though I did receive Teacher of the Year award around my 5th year), I was never given a formal farewell from the faculty/administration in ways that other faculty would be honored/recognized during a school assembly or graduation ceremony. I felt exploited. Not by the students, but by the institution.

It wasn't that I only wanted to serve on condition that I receive an award. I think this goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway: most certainly my love for students and the energy I put in the classroom instruction was not driven by the possibility of receiving awards. Truly the most enriching reward was my students' laughter and tears and seeing my students come back years after they've graduated to tell me about their lives.

That was 2006. Since then, I have been careful not to expect an institution to honor my work in the way that I believe I deserve.  In a sense, an institution can never truly know exactly what sort of blood, sweat, tears, anguish and love is required of women of color on a daily basis.

Though I am extremely grateful that I am in a much better place now (at Napa Valley College), in a much better/healthier division, (the Arts and Humanities Division) surrounded by people within that division who have a far, greater respect and appreciation for the work I do than ever in the past,  this wonderful recognition is still unmatched when compared to the recognition I felt at the FWN Gala and the beautiful exchanges I had with the women during the FWN summit—an event organized by Filipinas who understand the blood, sweat, tears, anguish and love of expended by Filipinas in the public and private sector.

Lastly, I thank you for this concept of the FWN GlobalAward 100 being a "working" award. This was made so clear throughout the weekend and particularly during the speeches at the Gala (as I reflect particularly on the speech of Cora Tellez).

Janet and her family

Instead of FWN being some insular, secret society, it is an organization that wants to continuously recognize the accomplishments of Filipinas worldwide and reach out to and become models for young Filipinas to ensure their success and well-being. It wants to expand its circle to include more and more accomplished Filipinas with each year that passes, reminding its members of their responsibility to continuously reach out and femtor others.

The organization, while recognizing 100 awardees each year, still remains conscious of the fact that there are many Filipinas out there (who may not be official awardees) who are nonetheless doing great transformative work that deserves to be recognized; thus, this becomes the impetus for us to grow, femtor, and turn our awards into "working" awards.

Marily, I thank you so much for founding FWN  ten years ago, and thank you to the organizing committee and board for all they have done. I look forward to becoming a member and attending the next FWN Summit and seeing Susie Quesada in action as the new president. I think this organization becomes a fabulous model for other communities of color and other marginalized communities whose work tends not to be publicly recognized.

My sincerest thanks.

Janet C. Mendoza Stickmon is the Founder of Broken Shackle Developmental Training and the
Professor of Humanities, Napa Valley College in Napa, California. She can be reached at jstickmon [at] gmail [dot] com.